TABA 2010

ehem! first time akong sasali sa mga ganitong thing..i didn't know kasi na may ganito sa blogging..
hahaha..but anyways I will never waste my time and opportunity to nominate...


so here's my nomination for TABA (The Annual Blog Awards) ni Zyra..

• Best Blog Design-Dahil sa over over makangangang graphics ng blog niya at super cute na mga drawings bagay na bagay ang place na 'to for Teacher's Pwet ni teacher mots....hindi man ako nagbabasa ng mga post niya pero super hanga ako sa blog niya na parang room ng kindergarten..:))
• Bibong Blogger of the Year-Kepalan ni Kiko (Batman) na nakakatuwa ang mga post (na karamihan ay nakakarelate ako) ....at halos araw-araw siyang nag-aupdate..hahahaha..minsan nga tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung may sekreto pa ba siyang tinatago, kasi parang halos lahat sa buhay niya pino-post niya to the highest level!!!
• Best in English Blogger of the Year-ay isang award na dapat ay mapunta lang kay Rizadholic ng IExposed ---grabeh sa tuwing binabasa ko ang blog niyang 'toh..isa lang ang masasabi ko..."NOSEBLEED!!!!".....nakakatakot na..hahaha
• Husay Managalog na Blogger of the Year-...hmmm.....hindi lang siya magaling mag-english  magaling din siyang magtagalog---Aba! Nagsusulat na pala ako?! How come? ni Rizadholic ......wohoo~!!!! todo na 'to! siya talagang idol ko pagdating sa world of blogging!!!hahahaha..super galing kasi, siguro magaling din siyang mag-spanish...(kung magkaganun man, super idol ko na talaga siya!!! at kailangang magdagdag ng Best in Spanish Award----sure ako wala siyang kalaban..:))) 

           Happy new year sa tatlong taong ni-nominate ko!!!!


i support!!!:

Before, During and After ng Repeat Concert

 
 

"....mga bagay-bagay na nangyari sa ma-echos naming concert, entitled--DIVERSE CITY..."

Before:

• Actually, naganap noong December 5 ang first performance namin para sa concert na Diverse City, at alam ko na by that time I was full of energy na kulang na lang ay lumipad ako sa sobrang tuwa, wala lang feel ko lang talaga ang maging bahagi ng isang musical concert (although may music naman talaga basta may concert...)...isang ala-Broadway kasi ang style, so ayun na dahil nga first time na makakita ang mga manonood ng ganoong uri ng concert eh marami ang nagsuggest na i-repeat performance namin 'yon....and the next sched happened on December 26.(2010 po 'to ha?..baka isipin niyo nung isang taon..hahaha..wala lang) ...
• Sa maraming kaepalang comment at post namin sa FB na mami-miss namin ang concert practices, ayan tuloy, natuluyan.....hahaiex, so ayun na nagkaroon kami ng isang linggong vacant days na pabalik-balik kami sa church para mag -practice ng mga songs and dances (may dinagdag kasi....at may ibang songs that needs polishing) kaya dahil dyan di ko feel na papalapit na pala ang sinasabi nilang "Christmas Eve"....
• Nahirapan talaga kaming magdispose ng tickets, maraming ideas na ang nag-popped-up sa mga utak namin kung paano idedispose ang mga tickets gayung wala nang pasok. So ang trip namin pumunta kami ng Mall (sa nag-iisang mall sa panabo city, ang Gaisano Grand Mall)....at matapos ang panggugulo sa mga stuff toys na hindi sakto ang mga ilong at napakamalnourished napagpasyahan ng grupo na pumunta sa food court, at dun nagplano kung papano kami magbebenta dun.(apat pa kaming nauna dun, sumunod lang 'yung iba...yung mga elders..hahaha)
• After some time of talking and planning napag-isipan ng tatlong babae (including me) na pagbentahan ang mga kumakain...(kasi sa tagal naming nagtambay dun attempts lang talaga ang ginawa namin,nangamoy patis na ako dahil pinaglaruan ko 'yung lalagyan ng patis sa table..)...Pero bago kami nagbenta siyempre nagdasal kami, buti timing at may mga trabahante ng TADECO dun...kaya marami-rami ring stabs ang nabenta namin.
• Nangaroling kami sabay benta ng ticket.....(turo ako nang turo na ang puntiryahin namin eh ;yung malalaking bahay na may christmas lights..hahaha).
• Nagrun-through...

During:

• Narealize ko ang importansya ng PERSONAL ASSISTANT...(nawala kasi ang iba kong susuotin, imagine susuotin ko palang wala na...) 
• Hindi ko feel ang microphone, grabe kasi ang echo, tsaka putul-putol 'yung voice ko habang kumakanta ako...
• Nakakainis 'yung dalawang lalaking epal na panay ang labas sa stage kahit di sila kasali.
• Nawala ang laurel ko ko na gagamitin ko sana sa One More Round.
• "Di ko nafeel ang saya sa Money Makes the World Go Round, di tulad nung last concert....
• Ang dami kong mali kainis talaga....
• In short "DISASTROUS" ang repeat performance para sa akin.T_T

After:

•  Natuwa ako kasi after ng concert nag-Raffle draw...pero hindi naman ako nanalo, natuwa lang ako kasi tapos na ang concert...hahahaha
• Nagmeeting kami para sa outing kinabukasan, at dahil sa short kami sa budget  sa BEACH VIEW ang venue ng outing namin.
• Nung nasa beach view na kami tumawid kami sa kabilang isla...(Wohoo!!! parang sa single motor 'yung tunog ng makina nung bangka....nag-enjoy ako sa kulay ng dagat, color green..)
• Nakakainis kasi sabi nila baka kumalat 'yung virus ng sore eyes ko...
• Nag-enjoy parin ako sa kahit ganun, nag-explore kasi kami sa isla (though hindi talaga namin nilibot) nakakita kami ng lake, ewan ko lang kung fish pond ba yun o lake basta ako ang tawag ko dun ay lake.

Sana lang next year iba na naman ang trip ng concert namin. Sana lang, okey lang 'din kung hindi nila baguhin ang ala-Musical effect, gusto ko lang maiba na naman...

Pero overall, BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER nung concert 'di ako masyadong masaya, mga 40% (10% sa practices, 10% sa pagbenta ng ticket, 10% sa pagtulong sa mga bata at 10% sa outing)  lang ang tuwa ko dahil sa sore eyes, pero hopefully next year wala ng sore eyes na sisira sa December vacation ko...

Mapula ang Araw ng Pasko

"...HIndi ko naman talaga hiniling ang bagay na'to eh....dumating na lang 'to ng basta basta...sa paraang hindi ko inaasahan..."

AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sigaw ko bandang tanghali sa araw ng pasko. Ayon na sobrang blurred na ng paningin ko at maya-maya mutas have invaded my eyes....Ewan ko ba pero paanong nangyaring nagkasore eyes ako eh kagabi lang nilagyan ko ng alcohol ang paligid ng aking mga mata upang hindi ako mahawa sa epidemyang nasa loob ng aming simbahan pero eto parin ang nangyari....

Napaisip din ako, baka ang virus kumakalat din sa internet...Kasi lumabas ang sintomas ng sore eyes matapos akong magreply sa post ni direk na nagkasore eyes na siya, tapos mayamaya ako na naman ang na bull's eye ng sore eyes. Nakakatuwa man pero nakakalungkot din, kasi hindi naman ito 'yung hiniling ko.

Anyway kahit sabi nila ang Dec. 25 ang araw ng pasko, hindi ako naniniwala, kasi sa pagkakaalam ko maraming gods and goddesses daw ang may birthday sa araw na ito kaya ito din daw ang ginawang araw ng kapanganakan ng ating Tagapaglitas..hahaie buhay..pero ewan ko ba bakit kailangang sa Dec pa sineselebreyt ng church namin ang Christmas e pwede namang hindi sumabay sa paniniwala ng mundo kasi where not of this world....

Pero one thing is certain, na December 25 ang kaarawan ni Shock Trooper na kilala sa tawag na "junjoni"---ang jr. ng aming pastor na parang stuffed toy sa kakyutan...hahahaha...... 

Nag-enjoy talaga ako sa bulaklak sa gitna ng cake niya (hindi siya bakla ha...:)) kasi pagsindi nung candles biglang nagbloom 'yung flower na nakaclose tapos maypa sparkler effects pa....hahaha eto oh....

...hindi ko na matandaan kung umiikot ba 'yung candle o hindi basta natuwa ako kasi may music na "Happy Birthday"...:))

Too much for that let's go back to the sore eyes issue, kahit natuwa ako sa flower, 'di ko parin masyadong feel ang birthday ni kuya oni, kasi masyadong madilim ang paligid dahil sa suot kung shades (courtesy of Ate Sybil) to protect my eyes sa hangin sa paligid, at isa pang nakakainis eh umiiwas ang lahat ng tao sa akin sa takot na mahawa din sila...nakakaiyak, nakakafrustrate at nakakainis kasi para akong may HIV sa ginagawa nila....(para silang hindi christians...hindi bagay sa kanila ang maging missionaries, eh sore eyes lang nahihirapan na silang lumapit ano pa kaya kung pumunta sila ng Africa at makita ang mga batang may AIDS? nagpapalabas lang ako ng saloobin..hmf)

Isa pa pagkatapos kumain nagrun through pa kami para sa repeat concert kinabukasan...huhuhuhu, napakaworst talaga ng ginawa ko, ang pangit ng boses ko at hindi ko magawang abutin ang mga nota (na hindi ko naman alam basahin, 'wag kang maingay...hahaha.) at habang pauwi madugo ang bakbakan sa loob ng aming tricycle, madugo in the sense na dumudugo na ang tenga ko sa pabalik-balik na sermon ng isang taong tinatawag kung MANONG....pinagalitan niya kami kasi ang tagal daw umano naming natapos ng run through...na totoo naman kasi imagine 12 midnight na kaming nakauwi sa bahay....pero hindi lang 'yun ang ikinagagalit niya, kasi ang sabi niya pa marami daw umanong lamok sa labas at pinagkakakagat siya.....suggest naman ni BATMAN, "bakit hindi nalang po kayo pumasok?" Ayon mas lalong nainis si manong, pag-uwi sa bahay galit na galit at sinabing..."at may gana pa siyang magsuggest na sa loob ako pumasok eh ang ingay ingay dun...paano ako makakapagpahinga?"...

Pagkarinig ng sinabi ni Manong, biglang nagprocess ang brain cells ko ang naglagay ng ngiti sa aking mga labi ang nabuong  statement sa loob ng utak ko...nakapagpahinga kaya siya sa labas sa dami ng lamok, same lang 'yun sa labas o sa loob di parin siya makapagpapahinga....(devil laugh vibrates inside my brain)....Wala lang natawa lang ako sa thought kong 'yon...anyway may sense naman diba?

Pero ang nakakalungkot sa lahat ay hindi natupad ang wish ko sa pasko..."ANG MAGKAROON NG KUYA KAHIT FOR ONE DAY LANG.."....lately kasi I realized na ang kailangan ko ay isang kuya na laging magpapasaya sa akin despite of my hatred to my father (naks! ang vocal ko!)....ang wish ko nga sana sa past nagkaroon si Manong ng love interest at tadan! nagkaroon sila ng anak na lalaki...pero imposible 'yun kasi walang kever sa love si Manong nung kabataan niya.

Natapos ang December 25 na walang kuyang dumating at walang healing of sore eyes, pero busog naman akong umuwi sa bahay..so naisip kong instead na tawaging nemesis ang sore eyes ko, tatawagin ko nalang itong "kuya" at least may dumating parin..:))

SORE EYES!!!!!

DECEMBER 25--Gabi na'to pero may shades parin ako...:'(

(P.S. I realized that children are better than adults in dealing with some kind of sickness, 'cause as far as I could remember when I was in grade three and I got a sore eyes, instead of seeing my classmates going away from me, they would get closer to me and suggest different kinds of remedy and offer me something to cheer me up, making me feel like I'm not having my sore eyes...)

Badtrip sa Bisperas

"Mga rason kung bakit badtrip ako sa bisperas ng pasko..."



Ngayong araw na ito nagkaroon kami ng polishing ng mga sayaw (i.e. LOse my Soul, Glam) at wala ako sa mood....bakit? kung interesado ka talagang malaman basahin mo ang mga sumusunod....pagkatapos mong basahin 'wag mong ipagsasabi kahit kanino......

• Inaantok ako dahil kulang ang tulog ko...(sinong hindi aantukin, eh nagising ako kaninang madaling araw dahil sa bunsong kapatid ko na masyadong malikot at nagtatakbo sa higaan namin dahil nakakita siya ng tatlong malalaking ipis sa kuwarto namin...grrrr).
• Talagang mababadtrip ako kasi masyadong strict ang director namin sa repeat concert na kahit konting pikit lang ng mata pagagalitan kana...(gusto ko na talagang umiyak kanina...gusto ko na kasing matulog ng over2)
• Bisperas na bisperas ng pasko wala pa sa sampu ang natatapos kong machine problems. (Ang tagal tagal na nun pero kahapon pa ako nakapagsimula ng pag-answer.)
• I was disappointed. (Kasi I expected something pero hindi naman nangyari...)
• Ayaw kong magpagirl ng rampa sa Glam.(Nakakadiri kayang gawin 'yon, hindi pa naman girl na girl 'yung mga kilos ko...)

Anong say mo? 'wag ka nalang mag-react okey...'yan ang laman ng utak ko.....

So 'wag mong ipagsasabi kahit kanino....

Miss Saigon

Kim
You are sunlight and i moon
Joined by the gods of fortune
Midnight and high noon
Sharing the sky
We have been blessed, you and i

Chris
You are here like a mystery
I'm from a world that's so different
From all that you are
How in the light of one night
Did we come so far?

Kim
Outside day starts to dawn

Chris
Your moon still floats on high

Kim
The birds awake

Chris
The stars shine too

Kim
My hands still shake

Chris
I reach for you

Both
And we meet in the sky!

Kim
You are sunlight and i moon
Joined here
Bright'ning the sky
With the flame
Of love

Both
Made of
Sunlight
Moonlight

Kim
Tomorrow will be the full moon
I can bring friends to bless our room
With paper unicorns and perfume
If you want me to

Chris
Unicorns? sure. . .

Sun and Moon

"..ang araw at buwan ay dapat magkasama."

Minsan habang pinapanood ko ang isa sa pinkapaborito kong Korean Drama ay di inaasahang tumulo ang aking luha sa sinabi ng bidang lalaki na hindi nakakita sa dilim sa bidang babae habang nagpapahinga sila sa bench sa may countryside....

Babae: Hindi ka nakakakita sa gabi diba? edi pati mga bituin di mo nakikita?
Lalaki: tama ka.
Babae: Pero nakikita mo ba ang buwan?
Lalaki: Oo naman, 'yan lang ang nakikita tuwing gabi.
Babae: Edi nakakakita ka parin ng bituin.
Lalaki: Hindi bituin ang buwan.
Babae: Bakit hindi eh nagbibigay siya ng liwanag?
Lalaki: Ang liwanag ng buwan ay nagmula sa araw, umaasa siya sa araw para maglabas ng liwanag.
Babae: Ah, ganun ba 'yon? ang bobo ko talaga.
Lalaki:(ngumiti)
Babae: Para palang ako buwan umaasa sa liwanag ng araw gaya mo, wala talaga akong kwenta,   
              wala akong sariling liwanag...
Lalaki: Meron ka paring silbi, kasi ang buwan lang ang nakikita ko sa mga sandaling ito....


Matapos mapanood ang scene na 'yon, naisip ko, sana may lalaking magsabi sakin nun, 'yung lalaking ituturing akong buwan ng buhay niya, sana ako lang lagi ang makita niyang nagliliwanang sa kadiliman ng gabi...

Sana nga lang, pero if possible siguro dapat mas sweet pa ang sabihin sa aking ng lalaking inihanda para sa kin ni Lord.....hahaha.....Thank You Lord in advance...:)

at sana makita niyo ang tamang tao para sa inyo, at kung wala man ayos lang 'yun nandiyan naman si Lord...♥

T-ShirtFront V3 and V4

Version 2

Version 3

For T-Shirt Printing-SetF(V.1)

I forgot our first T-shirt Design so I created another one, so to those who want to join the Galoreans in printing our Set's T-shirt please see Ms. Kishia Melvs Serito...:)

Dati-rati

"Matagal ko na ding nararamdaman ang bagay na ito...kaya lang di ko alam kung paano ito itapon."




Hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan 'to nagsimula, ang tanging naaalala ko ay iba na ang pagtingin ko sa kanya, ngunit sa pagdaan ng mga araw hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano tumibok ang puso ng ganun kabilis  nang muli ko siyang makita. Hindi na ako makatitig sa mga mata niya na dati ko namang ginagawa noon.

Dati-rati kapag hinahawakan niya ang kamay ko parang wala, tapos ngayon it's not the same, parang may kakaibang sayang dulot 'yun sa akin. Parang hindi ko na gustong bitawan niya ang mga kamay ko. Pero alam ko kailangan niyang gawin 'yun, sapagkat alam ko na hindi ang pagkakahawak ng aming mga kamay ang magbibigay ng saya sa puso niya.

Pero hindi pa naman ako umiyak o kaya'y naghehysterical kapag nakikita kong masaya siya sa piling ni girl...(over girl talaga? showbiz?) Hindi naman ako ganung klase ng tao, siguro magkakaganun lang ako pagdating sa school lalung-lalo na pag hindi ko nagawa ng tama ang mga bagay-bagay, pero sa feelings ko 'to hindi naman!

Masaya rin naman ako pag kasama niya 'yung tunay niyang mahal(denial), 'yun lang siguro ang hindi nagbago. Pero hopeful parin ang puso ko na balang araw hindi na ako masasaktan gaya ng nararamdaman ko ngayon, although I know for the fact that there's a less possibility for him to notice me, the way I notice him.(chaka na! English na si mare! wohoo!).


Hirap ding magtago ng feelings ha? Hirap sabihin niya sa kanya ng harapan. Kaya nga sa blogger ko pinapalabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko kasi mas tago sa kanya. Walang siyang clue sa feelings ko pag sa blog ko nilagay lahat. Sa ngayon alam ko na masyado pa kong bata para maramdaman ang sinasabi nilang true love, pero magkaganun man, iniaalay ko sa kanya ang awiting nasa video sa taas...ang title nga pala niyan ay "SOMEONE LIKE YOU" by Andrea Ross...sana ma-enjoy niyo rin....para yan sa mga taong naghinhintay...:)

Hinga lang....

"... Why, you need to study further putting bullets in the list"


AAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

HTML really annoying, as I do so principally .... especially those about the types of ordered and unordered lists. Suffocation, I do not get right. I do not know but eh ... nakakaano

Bakit naman kasi di ako biniyayaan ng ugaling matiisin...ang dali-dali ko lang magsawa sa lahat ng bagay...kung dati-rati over na over ang pagka-obsessed ko sa mga codes ng HTML at ang to the highest level ang curiosity ko..to the point na nag-IT ako para gumawa ng mga Web Pages.

Isa pang bagay na kina-iinisan ko, ang katangahan ko sa numero, di ako masyadong magaling sa number system conversion...ewan ko ba nahhilo ako sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng numero..lalo na ang binary..Naku! Puro one at zero ang nakikita ko tapos mayrun pang linya ng mga numerong nagsisimula sa 1 tapos 2 tapos 4 tapos 8 tapos 16 tapos 32....hahayy!!! walang katupusang pagmumultiply by 2.

Eto pa lagi akong nagkakamali dito:
_______________________________

public class Hello
{
        public static void main(String[]args)
        {
             System.out.print("Hello Java!");
         }
}

__________________________________

kung hindi nagiging main void....nakakalimutan kong lagyan ng ; ang hulihan ng system.out.print.....

Tapos kung minsan 'di ko kayang magpa-run ng program...ewan ko!!!

Werlang-werla na ang utak ko!!!

Over na talaga ang mga Major Subjects pinipiga ang utak ko.....

IT4 at IT5...

Parang gusto ko nang tumigil sa pag-aaral, pero ano bang magagawa ko kailangang pag-aralan ang basic para makagawa ng over over na html at programs....

Pero sabi nga ni NINA just breathe lang....

Sabi naman sa Three Idiots "Just tell your heart that Al Aiz Well"....

Hinga lang ang kulang,....at konting kalma sa puso.....sana makapasa ako....^^

Moon Fairy

"As the light of the moon illuminated the dark room where i hide, the tears from my eyes fell like shining pearls..."


Cold was the wind for me as it played with the curtains in the window where I sat. As the world slowly rotates, I kept on thinking about the happy memories with you, little happy memories. I bit my lower lip just to stop myself from crying, to stop myself from thinking about the hurtful memories that accompanied those happy memories.

I thought i'm strong. I thought that i'm immune and I thought that I'm powerful enough to stop the pain from entering my heart, but I was wrong. As days go by, the pain keeps on putting a lot of holes in my heart leaving unwanted scars that replays every word and every action of yours that says, you can't love me back.

But i'm not asking you to love me back, I just want you to let me love you, I just want you to accept. I hated the way you act and the way you treat me. It seems like your shouting voicelessly on my face that you don't need me, that you don't care about me and that all you care was her to love you back....that I'm just nothing to you, that I'm just a trash--a nemesis!

If you can only see how my tears blotted the ink on my paper as I wrote this one, you might pity me, but I can't say it to you, because even if I can open my mouth, no words can come out from it...I'm a mute, a silent lover. And even if I use my hands to communicate with you, still you can't see it for the truth would still prevail that your vision is darkened.

I'll just continue to write letters for you, who knows maybe someday the fairy from the moon will send it to your dreams in your peaceful night of sleep....

Hmmm...I Think I like that Song....

I passed by Batman's Blog and I heard this song....




Lyrics:

I need to talk with you again,
why did you go away,
All our time together, just feels like yesterday,
I never thought I'd seen,
a single day without you,
the things we take for granted,we can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again,
will I see you again.
Cos time will pass me by, may be I'll never learn to smile,
But i know I will make it through,
if you wait for me.
(won't you wait for me.)
And all the tears I cry,
no matter how I try.
They will never bring you home to me,
won't you wait for me in heaven.
Do you remember how it was,
when we never seemed to care.
The days went by so quickly,
cos I thought you'd always be there.
It's hard to let you go,
though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated,
cos we never said goodbye.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again.
Cos I miss you so,
and I need to know,
Will you wait for me.

I just wanna send my thanks to Batman...At Last! Kabalo na jud ko sa Title....hehehehe...

My Bereavement

"I couldn't tell when will be the time that I'll completely move on with my life..."

I could still smell the smoke from the burning candle, the smell of the flowers displayed at the side of his casket, and I could still hear him laughing. It's been three months already since he was buried but bereaved was I so greatly.

He's the only person who made me happy during my times of loneliness, my company when it seems like the world is against me and my handkerchief when I can't stop the tears that's flooding in my eyes. He's the smile on my lips and the twinkle in my eyes, but now that he's gone the smile faded and my eyes looked cold and bitter.

Why did he left me this early? He left me by saying that everything will be fine and that the world will not stop turning even if he's gone, but it's not fine. Now that he's gone the faces that haunted me by saying that I'm a threat to their existence keeps on popping out my dried world! Yes, my world has become dried, it was dead...He's my world! He is! My world used to be happy and colorful, it's full of sunshine and darkness has no space on it. But now....everything is different.

He left me with my feelings imprisoned in my heart. I never told him how much I love him and I can't let it go, the key to set this free is on him, it was buried with him in the ground....and even if I dig his tomb, i know that I can't find it....he's the key, he's life is the key, his very existence is the key.

I know he'll never accept this feelings even if I'll say it out loud for he loved another woman, more beautiful, more intelligent. Even if he's dying he keeps on talking about her....but he never did noticed that deep inside my heart is bleeding. But still I'm happy for I know it's not me who can put those sweet smile on his face, I am just a little sister for him and that's all.



......"but I love him, more than he could ever imagine, and I'm willing to give him my life, but I know  it's impossible and even if I kill myself I know I'll go to hell and I'll never see him forever and forever."



 

Hey! It's My favorite song you're singing

"For a long period of time that you keep on putting tears on my eyes, finally you've made me happy even just for a little."

The song that you're singing was the song that really caught my attention from the first time that I heard it. Each note was piercing through my heart and every rhythm puts a smile on  my face. I never thought that the lyrics of the song would come out of your mouth and it makes me fall in love with you more and more.

I've always wanted to sing that song with you, so it's sad on my part that it never did came true. But I know that as long as the sun is still up in the sky and as long as I wake up each day to face another day without you by my side, I still have this kind of strong faith that someday somehow, someone like me would invade your mind, and that you'll feel the same way as I do.

Right now, it seems so impossible, but I know time will come that I'll sing all of my favorite songs with you and that I'll wake up with you by my side everyday, that someday you will stay by my side and you'll never want to go.

Someday the lyrics of the song will become the poem of our lives as we live together as one. Maybe I'm just thinking in advance or I'm just dreaming too much. Anyway, just let me do this, this is just my way to escape the pain my secret love is causing.

If this post confuses you, don't worry for time will come that I will confess my feelings to you, just wait and be patient, I'm still building the thickest wall in my heart, in case that you'll reject me.

Denial

"It's not true that feelings when hidden dies.."

I felt like I never really have the right to love him. It's not because he's wealthy or he's smarter than me, well it's not about the status of life nor about brain capacity, it's more of physical appearance and self-confidence that pushed me to hide the feelings that invaded my heart ever since I saw him.

They say that there's no such thing as "love at first sight"---but, yeah they're right . Why I agreed? It's because I believe that when I saw him, it's just a simple adornment of his smile and eyes that later developed to love, or so I think.

Science says opposite poles attract, and that's the statement that gives me hope. Why? Because we're completely opposite. I'm NBSB, while he keeps on changing partners almost every month. He loves to join pageants while I'm frightened to face people because I'm afraid that they would see the flaws on my body.

Happy moments with him? I've got lots to say, it's just sad to know that I've got less moments with him, but got lots to say because I keep on saying it. The happiest of all was  when he knew that I got a crush on him, though I know it was embarrassing, but for the first time I heard the sweetest melody of all, he mentioned my first name for the first time in my two years of having a crush on him.

I don't know the reason why I could always hear the sound of my heart beating fast whenever he's nearby, but because it's just inside of me I never tell anyone. All they know is just he used to be the man who pushed me to do things that sane people wouldn't do. I  keep it as a secret that I'm still feeling something for him.

Sometimes the words "feelings when hidden dies" keeps on replaying on my mind, giving comfort to me that someday this feelings would die but it never did happened. So I revised that statement: "Feelings when hidden stays alive when it's pure and true, especially if what your feeling right now is love".

And I deny that I wrote this....

Isang Araw: Ikaw rin at Siya

Isang araw magiging palaka ka na,
Kasi isang araw siya nalang ang focus mo...
Isang araw sasaya ka rin,
Kasi isang araw babalik sa dati ang lahat...
Isang araw hindi kana mag-iisa,
Kasi isang araw kahawak mo na ang kamay niya...
Isang araw hindi ka na iiyak,
Kasi isang araw ang taong nagpaiyak sa'yo, ay siya ring titigil sa pagpatak ng luha mo...
Isang araw may lakas ka nang harapin ang buhay,
Kasi isang araw hindi ka na matatakot dahil kasama mo na siya...
Isang araw wala na akong lungkot na makikita sa mga mata mo,
Kasi isang araw papalitan niya na 'yon ng saya...
Isang araw aalis ka na sa malungkot mong mundo,
Kasi isang araw lilipat ka na sa masayang mundong gagawin niyo...


Isang araw.....Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw....Isang araw...

Mga pitong isang araw...

Mawawalan na tayong dalawa ng chance...
at mawawalan na ako ng pag-asang magmahal muli.

Paano pa nga ba mangyayari 'yon?

Kung basag na basag na ang puso kong lihim mong inaapakan habang pumapatak sa mga mata mo ang mga luhang ang dahilan ay 'di ako.

Sana nga lang..

Isang araw di na lang kayo..
Isang araw makita mo rin ako at ang lahat ng ginagawa ko para lagyan ng kahit konting ngiti ang mga labi.

Teka, selfishness ba 'yon?

^^

Kung pwede lang sanang burahin ang pangalan niya sa kapalaran mo at ipalit ang pangalan ko. Kaso permanent tattoo na ang pangalan niya, hindi henna tattoo na temporary.

Kung kaya ko lang sanang sabihin sa'yo...
Para isang araw Ikaw rin at ako...

Kung hindi ka lang sana manhid. Diba nga ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS?

May anesthesia ka ata eh.

Cellphone ka ba?
Kasi sim ako...na naDISCARD mo...

My Inspiration Part II

We have the same personalities

Keeping the same identities

Satisfied with your good qualities

I long for your affection

And also for your attention

I will always be here for your protection

You are fixed in my mind

Your attentions I want to find

For me, you’re a special kind

The flowers I want to have

Smells like your love

You’re every thing I want to grab

I pretend that I hate you

But deep inside I love you

You don’t have any clue

That you are my tomorrow

The brilliant smiles you got

Makes me happy a lot

Just like a flower in my pot

I hate you for not loving me

But in the doors of my heart you are the key

That makes me happy as can be

Even though you don’t love me

I want you to know, I’ll be always at your side

When you needed me, I will not hide

The love I keep inside

Boy you’re the one in my heart and mind.

My Inspiration I

First time I saw you

I feel I was out in blue

That’s all because of you

Each day I see you in my way

I can’t dare to say

That you brighten up my day

I can’t even stare

Because I’m always scared

For you to know that I always care

At the back I always see

That you are not thinking of me

And for that I hurt so badly

Because I fell in with you completely

Every time you’re sitting by my side

I wish of being your bride

This feeling I can’t hide

To others you can’t find

I always express my feelings through text

Until I don’t know what’s next

I think I’m wasting my load

While walking along the road

Although you’re laughing at my mistakes

And it cause my heart to break

Even though you’re smiles are fake

Still for me, you’re sweet like a cake

Your love I want to get

Memories I can’t forget

You made my heart beat

That it made my life complete

The Pretender

Pretending is very hard

Like hiding my feelings in a card

The smile of your lovely lips

Is like a gold I hide and keep

The glimpses from you

Makes me say, “I love you”

However, it is hard to do

You love another girl, that’s true.

Sadness is what I feel every day

My morning starts with loneliness, not gay

To see you is my happiness

To be with you is endless

You are my everything

You are the music while I’m singing

You are my wings while I’m flying

I could wait no longer

To love you forever

But if we’re not meant for each other

Promise I will never find another

For loving you is a great opportunity

Loving me, the way that I love you have a less possibility

But remember I will wait until eternity

Until you read the pretender’s poetry