Hinga lang....

"... Why, you need to study further putting bullets in the list"


AAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

HTML really annoying, as I do so principally .... especially those about the types of ordered and unordered lists. Suffocation, I do not get right. I do not know but eh ... nakakaano

Bakit naman kasi di ako biniyayaan ng ugaling matiisin...ang dali-dali ko lang magsawa sa lahat ng bagay...kung dati-rati over na over ang pagka-obsessed ko sa mga codes ng HTML at ang to the highest level ang curiosity ko..to the point na nag-IT ako para gumawa ng mga Web Pages.

Isa pang bagay na kina-iinisan ko, ang katangahan ko sa numero, di ako masyadong magaling sa number system conversion...ewan ko ba nahhilo ako sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng numero..lalo na ang binary..Naku! Puro one at zero ang nakikita ko tapos mayrun pang linya ng mga numerong nagsisimula sa 1 tapos 2 tapos 4 tapos 8 tapos 16 tapos 32....hahayy!!! walang katupusang pagmumultiply by 2.

Eto pa lagi akong nagkakamali dito:
_______________________________

public class Hello
{
        public static void main(String[]args)
        {
             System.out.print("Hello Java!");
         }
}

__________________________________

kung hindi nagiging main void....nakakalimutan kong lagyan ng ; ang hulihan ng system.out.print.....

Tapos kung minsan 'di ko kayang magpa-run ng program...ewan ko!!!

Werlang-werla na ang utak ko!!!

Over na talaga ang mga Major Subjects pinipiga ang utak ko.....

IT4 at IT5...

Parang gusto ko nang tumigil sa pag-aaral, pero ano bang magagawa ko kailangang pag-aralan ang basic para makagawa ng over over na html at programs....

Pero sabi nga ni NINA just breathe lang....

Sabi naman sa Three Idiots "Just tell your heart that Al Aiz Well"....

Hinga lang ang kulang,....at konting kalma sa puso.....sana makapasa ako....^^

Moon Fairy

"As the light of the moon illuminated the dark room where i hide, the tears from my eyes fell like shining pearls..."


Cold was the wind for me as it played with the curtains in the window where I sat. As the world slowly rotates, I kept on thinking about the happy memories with you, little happy memories. I bit my lower lip just to stop myself from crying, to stop myself from thinking about the hurtful memories that accompanied those happy memories.

I thought i'm strong. I thought that i'm immune and I thought that I'm powerful enough to stop the pain from entering my heart, but I was wrong. As days go by, the pain keeps on putting a lot of holes in my heart leaving unwanted scars that replays every word and every action of yours that says, you can't love me back.

But i'm not asking you to love me back, I just want you to let me love you, I just want you to accept. I hated the way you act and the way you treat me. It seems like your shouting voicelessly on my face that you don't need me, that you don't care about me and that all you care was her to love you back....that I'm just nothing to you, that I'm just a trash--a nemesis!

If you can only see how my tears blotted the ink on my paper as I wrote this one, you might pity me, but I can't say it to you, because even if I can open my mouth, no words can come out from it...I'm a mute, a silent lover. And even if I use my hands to communicate with you, still you can't see it for the truth would still prevail that your vision is darkened.

I'll just continue to write letters for you, who knows maybe someday the fairy from the moon will send it to your dreams in your peaceful night of sleep....

Hmmm...I Think I like that Song....

I passed by Batman's Blog and I heard this song....




Lyrics:

I need to talk with you again,
why did you go away,
All our time together, just feels like yesterday,
I never thought I'd seen,
a single day without you,
the things we take for granted,we can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again,
will I see you again.
Cos time will pass me by, may be I'll never learn to smile,
But i know I will make it through,
if you wait for me.
(won't you wait for me.)
And all the tears I cry,
no matter how I try.
They will never bring you home to me,
won't you wait for me in heaven.
Do you remember how it was,
when we never seemed to care.
The days went by so quickly,
cos I thought you'd always be there.
It's hard to let you go,
though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated,
cos we never said goodbye.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again.
Cos I miss you so,
and I need to know,
Will you wait for me.

I just wanna send my thanks to Batman...At Last! Kabalo na jud ko sa Title....hehehehe...

My Bereavement

"I couldn't tell when will be the time that I'll completely move on with my life..."

I could still smell the smoke from the burning candle, the smell of the flowers displayed at the side of his casket, and I could still hear him laughing. It's been three months already since he was buried but bereaved was I so greatly.

He's the only person who made me happy during my times of loneliness, my company when it seems like the world is against me and my handkerchief when I can't stop the tears that's flooding in my eyes. He's the smile on my lips and the twinkle in my eyes, but now that he's gone the smile faded and my eyes looked cold and bitter.

Why did he left me this early? He left me by saying that everything will be fine and that the world will not stop turning even if he's gone, but it's not fine. Now that he's gone the faces that haunted me by saying that I'm a threat to their existence keeps on popping out my dried world! Yes, my world has become dried, it was dead...He's my world! He is! My world used to be happy and colorful, it's full of sunshine and darkness has no space on it. But now....everything is different.

He left me with my feelings imprisoned in my heart. I never told him how much I love him and I can't let it go, the key to set this free is on him, it was buried with him in the ground....and even if I dig his tomb, i know that I can't find it....he's the key, he's life is the key, his very existence is the key.

I know he'll never accept this feelings even if I'll say it out loud for he loved another woman, more beautiful, more intelligent. Even if he's dying he keeps on talking about her....but he never did noticed that deep inside my heart is bleeding. But still I'm happy for I know it's not me who can put those sweet smile on his face, I am just a little sister for him and that's all.



......"but I love him, more than he could ever imagine, and I'm willing to give him my life, but I know  it's impossible and even if I kill myself I know I'll go to hell and I'll never see him forever and forever."



 

Hey! It's My favorite song you're singing

"For a long period of time that you keep on putting tears on my eyes, finally you've made me happy even just for a little."

The song that you're singing was the song that really caught my attention from the first time that I heard it. Each note was piercing through my heart and every rhythm puts a smile on  my face. I never thought that the lyrics of the song would come out of your mouth and it makes me fall in love with you more and more.

I've always wanted to sing that song with you, so it's sad on my part that it never did came true. But I know that as long as the sun is still up in the sky and as long as I wake up each day to face another day without you by my side, I still have this kind of strong faith that someday somehow, someone like me would invade your mind, and that you'll feel the same way as I do.

Right now, it seems so impossible, but I know time will come that I'll sing all of my favorite songs with you and that I'll wake up with you by my side everyday, that someday you will stay by my side and you'll never want to go.

Someday the lyrics of the song will become the poem of our lives as we live together as one. Maybe I'm just thinking in advance or I'm just dreaming too much. Anyway, just let me do this, this is just my way to escape the pain my secret love is causing.

If this post confuses you, don't worry for time will come that I will confess my feelings to you, just wait and be patient, I'm still building the thickest wall in my heart, in case that you'll reject me.

Denial

"It's not true that feelings when hidden dies.."

I felt like I never really have the right to love him. It's not because he's wealthy or he's smarter than me, well it's not about the status of life nor about brain capacity, it's more of physical appearance and self-confidence that pushed me to hide the feelings that invaded my heart ever since I saw him.

They say that there's no such thing as "love at first sight"---but, yeah they're right . Why I agreed? It's because I believe that when I saw him, it's just a simple adornment of his smile and eyes that later developed to love, or so I think.

Science says opposite poles attract, and that's the statement that gives me hope. Why? Because we're completely opposite. I'm NBSB, while he keeps on changing partners almost every month. He loves to join pageants while I'm frightened to face people because I'm afraid that they would see the flaws on my body.

Happy moments with him? I've got lots to say, it's just sad to know that I've got less moments with him, but got lots to say because I keep on saying it. The happiest of all was  when he knew that I got a crush on him, though I know it was embarrassing, but for the first time I heard the sweetest melody of all, he mentioned my first name for the first time in my two years of having a crush on him.

I don't know the reason why I could always hear the sound of my heart beating fast whenever he's nearby, but because it's just inside of me I never tell anyone. All they know is just he used to be the man who pushed me to do things that sane people wouldn't do. I  keep it as a secret that I'm still feeling something for him.

Sometimes the words "feelings when hidden dies" keeps on replaying on my mind, giving comfort to me that someday this feelings would die but it never did happened. So I revised that statement: "Feelings when hidden stays alive when it's pure and true, especially if what your feeling right now is love".

And I deny that I wrote this....

Isang Araw: Ikaw rin at Siya

Isang araw magiging palaka ka na,
Kasi isang araw siya nalang ang focus mo...
Isang araw sasaya ka rin,
Kasi isang araw babalik sa dati ang lahat...
Isang araw hindi kana mag-iisa,
Kasi isang araw kahawak mo na ang kamay niya...
Isang araw hindi ka na iiyak,
Kasi isang araw ang taong nagpaiyak sa'yo, ay siya ring titigil sa pagpatak ng luha mo...
Isang araw may lakas ka nang harapin ang buhay,
Kasi isang araw hindi ka na matatakot dahil kasama mo na siya...
Isang araw wala na akong lungkot na makikita sa mga mata mo,
Kasi isang araw papalitan niya na 'yon ng saya...
Isang araw aalis ka na sa malungkot mong mundo,
Kasi isang araw lilipat ka na sa masayang mundong gagawin niyo...


Isang araw.....Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw...Isang araw....Isang araw...

Mga pitong isang araw...

Mawawalan na tayong dalawa ng chance...
at mawawalan na ako ng pag-asang magmahal muli.

Paano pa nga ba mangyayari 'yon?

Kung basag na basag na ang puso kong lihim mong inaapakan habang pumapatak sa mga mata mo ang mga luhang ang dahilan ay 'di ako.

Sana nga lang..

Isang araw di na lang kayo..
Isang araw makita mo rin ako at ang lahat ng ginagawa ko para lagyan ng kahit konting ngiti ang mga labi.

Teka, selfishness ba 'yon?

^^

Kung pwede lang sanang burahin ang pangalan niya sa kapalaran mo at ipalit ang pangalan ko. Kaso permanent tattoo na ang pangalan niya, hindi henna tattoo na temporary.

Kung kaya ko lang sanang sabihin sa'yo...
Para isang araw Ikaw rin at ako...

Kung hindi ka lang sana manhid. Diba nga ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS?

May anesthesia ka ata eh.

Cellphone ka ba?
Kasi sim ako...na naDISCARD mo...

My Inspiration Part II

We have the same personalities

Keeping the same identities

Satisfied with your good qualities

I long for your affection

And also for your attention

I will always be here for your protection

You are fixed in my mind

Your attentions I want to find

For me, you’re a special kind

The flowers I want to have

Smells like your love

You’re every thing I want to grab

I pretend that I hate you

But deep inside I love you

You don’t have any clue

That you are my tomorrow

The brilliant smiles you got

Makes me happy a lot

Just like a flower in my pot

I hate you for not loving me

But in the doors of my heart you are the key

That makes me happy as can be

Even though you don’t love me

I want you to know, I’ll be always at your side

When you needed me, I will not hide

The love I keep inside

Boy you’re the one in my heart and mind.

My Inspiration I

First time I saw you

I feel I was out in blue

That’s all because of you

Each day I see you in my way

I can’t dare to say

That you brighten up my day

I can’t even stare

Because I’m always scared

For you to know that I always care

At the back I always see

That you are not thinking of me

And for that I hurt so badly

Because I fell in with you completely

Every time you’re sitting by my side

I wish of being your bride

This feeling I can’t hide

To others you can’t find

I always express my feelings through text

Until I don’t know what’s next

I think I’m wasting my load

While walking along the road

Although you’re laughing at my mistakes

And it cause my heart to break

Even though you’re smiles are fake

Still for me, you’re sweet like a cake

Your love I want to get

Memories I can’t forget

You made my heart beat

That it made my life complete

The Pretender

Pretending is very hard

Like hiding my feelings in a card

The smile of your lovely lips

Is like a gold I hide and keep

The glimpses from you

Makes me say, “I love you”

However, it is hard to do

You love another girl, that’s true.

Sadness is what I feel every day

My morning starts with loneliness, not gay

To see you is my happiness

To be with you is endless

You are my everything

You are the music while I’m singing

You are my wings while I’m flying

I could wait no longer

To love you forever

But if we’re not meant for each other

Promise I will never find another

For loving you is a great opportunity

Loving me, the way that I love you have a less possibility

But remember I will wait until eternity

Until you read the pretender’s poetry